a step into the future

this year is vital.
even more vital than last year.
i have to get in.
i have to get in.
i have to get in.


its my second time round.
v i c t o r y lap.
so when do i get to the victory part?


if only.
if only.
if only.
i was smarter;
i wouldnt struggle this hard
i wouldnt have to be so desparate
a c c e p t m e . p l e a s e ?
oh how much i say that in my life.
paaathetic.

but intelligence
oh how priceless
but how much peace it would bring to this stage of my life.

reminise.

how my life has changed these few years of highschool.

loss connections with friends that i thought i would never loose
i wanted to think nothing has changed. but how can that be?
when its right in front of my eyes.
thank you for that mini pillow, that you gave me so that i can always hug it and cry into it when im sad
i still use it, and think of you every time.
had to throw it into the washer a few times cause it was so gross
i miss you mary. i miss those days were we climbed trees and were u n s t o p p a b l e.
well now its come to a stop.
when the partners in crime are no longer partners..

delighted with growing friendships
broken when they deminish within weeks.
what happened.
was it me?
.. whats wrong with me?
did i do something wrong?
im sorry. i miss you. i miss the times we've had. even the littlest things..
thanks for getting me on busses thats summer agnes : )

you bring truth in the phrase "you take it for granted til its gone"
i havent seen you since the end of school..
i miss the lunches we have, the journey's we'd travel to just get a muffin and coffee
- the times youve stuck by me when i was having a crumby day
still think of those days when we dont have a thing to do and we just sit in the hall and talk
i miss you katelyn..
have fun out in the fields, but stay safe.

you've drawn for me, you've written for me
we've been through everything together.
ashley, where do i start.. we're so different, but somehow we were so close
i still have the poem you wrote, bout the three of us.
so unseparatable. but here we are. separated..
take care of bella, tell her about me.. tell her the adventures we've been on
the stories we've made up..
shes's a treasure ashley, and so are you.
take care ashes-

you little smartie you!
so envious of how you find all these things managable..
so proud of you, getting into mcmasterr katie
so so proud of you, but i knew youd get in - no doubt.
miss you lots, and i feel bad that we didnt talk more..
i still remember at retreats, winter retreat..
when we would stay up all night catching up a year's worth..
i treasure those times with all my heart.
be my future family doctor or whatever doctor you become pleasee

we grew up together. we were the closest thing..
til overrated d r a m a got to us.
i cant believe it broke us..
as much as we want to say it didnt..
we arent as close anymore. its a shame. its a loss, for me at least.
i dont know how to start a conversation with you strangely
but once we do talk. i love it.
i feel like we were never separated at all,
and i wish it can go on for hours..
just hope you know i love you dearly cavina
youre the sweetheart that everyone loves
with great reason
take care of yourself cav, clumsy cav, love you spills and all
all wash your shirt and pants all over again if you fall in a hole
just come to the pond and help me catch another frog kay?

youre a jumble of joy. your laughs warm my heart
i still miss the summer we spent together. arguably one of my best.
i promised we'd do it again
but it never happened.
i guess im undependable and theres others that are
cause we dont talk so much anymore
i think of you as one of best friends hailey. hope you know.
wish we talked online more,
im sorry i couldnt keep up with those letters i wrote every week
honestly im jealous of you and jenn litterally knowing every little thing that happens
its cute blocking each other.. or im just a mess
wish we did more together..
but times of an essence isnt it?
love you hailey

youre so cute, not in the way you find children attractive
movies and blankets
picking strawberries in awkward childhood pants
minature skits in my room with costumes and makeup of bright colour
the dreams you have are messed up, and how you'd still tell me shamelessly
i love that about you jenjenn
love your integrity in school, and so proud of your grades that you achieve
have fun at mc. behave yourself and have funn
ill miss you more than words can tell
love you jenjenn

sorry i always drive you crazy
perhaps the gender difference makes it even harder for you
you spoil me so much its terrible!
its making me really princessy. and i hate it.
but thank you for being here for me for so long,
staying beside me when i break down and snapp
taking my hits when i lash out just cause i cant take it anymore..
instead of getting mad you'd hold me and tell me you love me
buy me chocolates to cheer me up
thank you for chasing after me
when im ignorant enough to walk away.
i appreciate it more than i show it,
and im sorry i dont show you my appreciation as much as i should
thank you mike, i love you lots, hope you know.

from autumn to winter

from the ends of summer; autumn. to the deaths of winter.
my life like the tree that blooms in the summer.
is slowly coming to its death.

the weather gets colder,
as feelings grow tension.
the tree growing weaker,
as the feelings fade.
with each wisp of wind,
as more arguments irrupt,
a leaf will fall, no longer can it hold.
things in life will leave.

with each wisp of wind
another leaf falls.


the tree bare of leaves.
lonely and cold.
death arrives.
no life.
with nothing left, it drops its leaves with each wisp of wind.
until the tree is bare. lonely and cold.
soon the death will be near.
slowly and painfully ill pass away.

Seasons - Dru

I met you in the summer time, [we fell in love]
everything was beautiful between us
you are like the sun on the sand on an island
and i was the water you heated up with your love
autumn came up on us with some confusion
felt like the love that we had was just an illusion
when winter came in, oh so cold
it froze up every road
^{i didnt know if we get to spring}

See theses are the seasons, baby
see you never know, you never know
what tomorrow brings
sunshine, rainy days, cloudy skies
[still be by your side]
see these are the season
and nothing'll be changin'
see you never know, you never know
what tomorrow brings
sunshine, rainy days, cloudy skies
[still be by your side], through every season

deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside
through every season
deep deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside

i know you got your faults and i got mine, too
but dont give no reason to give up on you
you can depend on me through this stormiest weather
cause i made a promise ill be right here f o r e v e r
even when your faith is low, gotta make amends
love can be a losing game got to play to win
no matter how bad it seems
got to hold on to that dream
and watch the flowers that bloom in spring

see you never know, you never know
what tomorrow brings
sunshine, rainy days, cloudy skies
[still be by your side]
see these are the seasons
and nothing'll be changin'
see you never know, you never know
what tomorrow brings
sunshine, rainy days, cloudy skies
[still be by your side], through every season

deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside
through every season
deep deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside
deep deep down it hurt inside


through the winter spring summer fall, i was there for you
through the thick and thin, im the one you can run to
baby you know, ill never stop loving you,

you are my <heart3

through the winter spring summer fall, i was there for you
through the winter spring summer fall, i was there for you
through thick and thin, im the one you can run to
baby you know, ill never stop loving you,
you are my <heart3

these are the seasons

see you never know, you never know
what tomorrow brings
sunshine, rainy days, cloudy skies
[still be by your side]
see these are the seasons
and nothing'll be changin'
see you never know, you never know
what tomorrow brings
sunshine, rainy days, cloudy skies
[still be by your side], through every season

see you never know, you never know
what tomorrow brings
sunshine, rainy days, cloudy skies
[still be by your side]
see these are the seasons
and nothing'll be changin'
see you never know, you never know
what tomorrow brings
sunshine, rainy days, cloudy skies
[still be by your side],

through every season

sunday morning regulars

the regular sunday morning events would begin with breakfast at the local tim hortons just a few steps from church. Just my dad and i, eating breakfast before service.

rarely any conversation made during the duration of the breakfast, mostly just eating, and observing the environment around us, silently sipping our field mushroom soup or occationally the chicken noodle..

i often watched customers come in and out, seeing the regular people that also have a regular routine there sunday mornings.. sipping big cups of coffee, enjoying buttered bagels, and reading the daily newspaper or book.

recently theres a couple of new regular customers on these sunday mornings - this old couple. aged with wisedom, nearly deaf with age, the old man bent over with a slow pace through the door towards the counter, wife in arm, aged with care, nodding and delicate with age.

helping each other getting through doors, and with every step they take, watching out for their love, arm in arm. slowly they reach the counter, the deafened man then yells out his order as the wife takes his hat off and brushes him off retrieving a nearby seat.

two cups of coffee and two muffins can be a handful the man learns, slowly making his journey to the seats. wife with more nimble than the man, realizes and assists at once.

crumbs stuck on the edge of lips are brushed off with gentleness and care.


watching the couple together, caring for each other, arm in arm.

love witnessed.