distract me from myself.

i miss working.. or just going out with people. anyone for any reason - even if its just to school studying.

i have to force myself to be happy, appear happy cause i have to be for work; leave all your own moods behind when youre at work. when im out with friends, i dont want others to worry over me, or turn the mood blue just cause i am. so i pretend to be happy, dont get me wrong, i am happy being with everyone, i just dont let other things ruin my mood.

its like within the time im pretending that im happy, i convince myself that i am.

being alone is good, but not for too long. its like i get sucked into this downward spiral that i make for myself.. my own mind is a dangerous place for me to explore alone..

take me out - distract me from myself..

faith.hope.courage.patience. love.

faith.
on this relationship to work out as God has intended to.
that we will be granted with wisdom to solve this heartbreak.

hope.
to at least make it out together as friends.
that you wont hate me.

courage.
to hear all the hate from you and to not react negatively.
to talk things out and not just sweep it under the carpet.

patience.
knowing that we're both hurt and broken.
to not rush a conclusion

love.

You my Lord, is the answer to everything.

Lord heavenly father,

i lift my auntie up to you Lord, shes been suffering from cancer for far too long. it spread all over her body, disintegrating her slowly and painfully. the medicines and fear transformed her; her whole personality has been replaced with negativity, and skepticism. medicines have failed to heal her physically and family and friends have failed to bring her any comfort. Lord, im coming to you, to help her open her heart and speak to her. you know the key to her heart Lord, and i pray that you would soften her, yet give her courage and strength against her disease, Lord, help her understand that faith in You, can overcome anything that the world throws. Lord, please help all the people around her, shine your light of understanding and wisdom.

i also pray for my cousins, and their parent's relationship Lord. Their broken each in their own way and angry at each other. and their children are suffering silently as their not considered in their actions. Lord, i pray for protection for them, and older people for them talk to for comfort and wisdom. i pray for their parents, that they would come to you for peace in their hearts and mind, patience with each other and wisdom to solve their problems.

Lord i pray for my boyfriend, doctor's say that his heart is unhealthy. I pray that he learns to make daily adjustments to his lifestyle to help his heart.. Lord, thank you for working so much in him, it brings me so much joy to see him read the Bible - growing in You. i pray for strength for me to help him, to be there for him, be strong for him when he needs me.

i pray for my family, for us to have patience with each other, learn from each other and look to You for solutions and peace when things arent always right. Thank you for bringing us back together, even when we were all so broken. Only with your power Lord. Only with your power, anything you wish will be. You my Lord, is the answer to everything.

Amen.

Evil.. the absense of God's presence in the hearts of man.

This is just something i found while surfing the net, its a m a z i n g.
i mean, einstein's academic achievements, didnt wow me, just cause im not really academic.
but this sure did.

The professor of a university challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A student answered bravely, "Yes, he did".

The professor then asked, "If God created everything, then he created evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our own actions), so God is evil. The student couldn't respond to that statement causing the professor to conclude that he had "proved" that "belief in God" was a fairy tale, and therefore worthless.

Another student raised his hand and asked the professor, "May I pose a question? " "Of course" answered the professor.

The young student stood up and asked : "Professor does Cold exists?"

The professor answered, "What kind of question is that? ...Of course the cold exists... haven't you ever been cold?"

The young student answered, "In fact sir, Cold does not exist. According to the laws of Physics, what we consider cold, in fact is the absence of heat. Anything is able to be studied as long as it transmits energy (heat). Absolute Zero is the total absence of heat, but cold does not exist. What we have done is create a term to describe how we feel if we don't have body heat or we are not hot."

"And, does Dark exist?", he continued. The professor answered "Of course". This time the student responded, "Again you're wrong, Sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in fact simply the absence of light. Light can be studied, darkness can not. Darkness cannot be broken down. A simple ray of light tears the darkness and illuminates the surface where the light beam finishes. Dark is a term that we humans have created to describe what happens when there's lack of light."

Finally, the student asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?" The professor replied, "Of course it exists, as I mentioned at the beginning, we see violations, crimes and violence anywhere in the world, and those things are evil."

The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist. Just as in the previous cases, Evil is a term which man has created to describe the result of the absence of God's presence in the hearts of man."

After this, the professor bowed down his head, and didn't answer back.

The young man's name was ALBERT EINSTEIN.

u n i

And here's arrived; the beginning of a new chapter that begins with big changes and obstacles right off the bat - i hope you know, i love you and miss you with all my genuine honest heart. i hope you all have a great time, have lots of fun and new experiences all while staying safe and with close and true to Christ. i would give up so much to just assure that our friendship would remain strong after, at the end of this stage or chapter of our lives.