when you're in a big group, you're always cut off when you're talking. no one listens to your advice. you either are talked about behind your back or ppl don't even know you're there to talk about you. i'm never first priority. but last. anywhere, with anyone. i think i'm just i'm born with it. even not seeing me for 7 yrs, they won't talk to you for more than 2 minutes. is it that i'm not cool enough? or am i just too weird to comprehend half the time. am i not liked? if so what am i doing wrong?
oh nevermind, i think im nuts, or too lonely here..... srry for wasting your dear time reading this..
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
banquet.or.nobanquet...
when dreams . hopes . are broken, whether its only little things. it hurts so much.. like the up coming softball banquet. its not too important that i go or not, since i didn't even play this year, but still, it hurts that much. like.. all day, i would b like.. i want to go...
[and if you want to know, i don't know if i'm going anymore, i thought i was, agnes was going to treat me as a welcome back present, but then just today, i heard through my friend, ray that my dad is saying no. it isn't the biggest thing of my life, but it still seems that important, so important that you can have a fit all day.]
is it that i'm still a little kid? or just so desparate to be with my friends? or is it because my over protective parents that won't let me go anywhere, so when i do, its like so exciting?
but anyway, still not sure what i'm going to do, mom said yes, dad says no. i don't know, i don't know at all. and not like i'm in the mood to persuade as i'm trying to persuade myself that i'm happy and that i just love hong kong.
its just awesome how so many problems pops up or catches up with me all when i'm on vacation and when i'm trying to relax, or, try something new. i want to go home, but i don't want to argue with dad to let me go.
i'm 15 dad, maybe at least you can relax when i go out with church ppl.. hopefully.. can't wait til sweet 16, maybe then...
[and if you want to know, i don't know if i'm going anymore, i thought i was, agnes was going to treat me as a welcome back present, but then just today, i heard through my friend, ray that my dad is saying no. it isn't the biggest thing of my life, but it still seems that important, so important that you can have a fit all day.]
is it that i'm still a little kid? or just so desparate to be with my friends? or is it because my over protective parents that won't let me go anywhere, so when i do, its like so exciting?
but anyway, still not sure what i'm going to do, mom said yes, dad says no. i don't know, i don't know at all. and not like i'm in the mood to persuade as i'm trying to persuade myself that i'm happy and that i just love hong kong.
its just awesome how so many problems pops up or catches up with me all when i'm on vacation and when i'm trying to relax, or, try something new. i want to go home, but i don't want to argue with dad to let me go.
i'm 15 dad, maybe at least you can relax when i go out with church ppl.. hopefully.. can't wait til sweet 16, maybe then...
Saturday, August 12, 2006
friends
by the way. i'm stopping on the daily posts... you can read it in my book later - when i get back...
but friends. you either know how special friends are, are not. even if you don't. im sure you have gotten quite a few of those forwards of poems and stories on friends. its all touching. but you don't fully feel it until you have to loose your friends and know how it feels to have no friends at your side. i, on this vacation now love all my friends even more than i ever did. i've always loved my friends more than average i guess because of, once again, experience. but after or still, during my vacation to hong kong, i really dearly love and miss my friends.
i'm here in hong kong for exactly 67 days; 9 and a half weeks. no friends, and everyone around me are people that i hardly know. people that i haven't seen in at least 8 years. its scary. its depressing. all my friends are on the other side of the world, i hear everything that is happening and im not, can't be, part of it. instead im stuck in a city that i barely recognise, and can't locate myself in. i have my mother. but really, its like she's not here. she knows and catches up with people that she hasn't seen, as i am there, quite litterally tagging along, with no choice. knowing me, im more energetic than quiet. here, i have said little, and have thought more than i've done in a very long time. it's hard to keep all that, energy, happiness in, or not having it at all, not being able to smile willingly, or laugh, not to put on a show, but truely from my heart.
try. it's hard. and it may be alike to those forward emails that you get. and maybe not even because my writing isn't that... well, since its hard to think too clearly when you have so many thoughts going through your head. but try to imagine how it would feel to have no friends around you. in a city you barely know. for so long. as everyone around you are having fun, you aren't. and you haven't smilied from your heart in so long. it'll drive you crazy.
i don't really have time to exactly express how i feel. but i am being kicked off.
miss you all terribly. love you all. miss you all.
but friends. you either know how special friends are, are not. even if you don't. im sure you have gotten quite a few of those forwards of poems and stories on friends. its all touching. but you don't fully feel it until you have to loose your friends and know how it feels to have no friends at your side. i, on this vacation now love all my friends even more than i ever did. i've always loved my friends more than average i guess because of, once again, experience. but after or still, during my vacation to hong kong, i really dearly love and miss my friends.
i'm here in hong kong for exactly 67 days; 9 and a half weeks. no friends, and everyone around me are people that i hardly know. people that i haven't seen in at least 8 years. its scary. its depressing. all my friends are on the other side of the world, i hear everything that is happening and im not, can't be, part of it. instead im stuck in a city that i barely recognise, and can't locate myself in. i have my mother. but really, its like she's not here. she knows and catches up with people that she hasn't seen, as i am there, quite litterally tagging along, with no choice. knowing me, im more energetic than quiet. here, i have said little, and have thought more than i've done in a very long time. it's hard to keep all that, energy, happiness in, or not having it at all, not being able to smile willingly, or laugh, not to put on a show, but truely from my heart.
try. it's hard. and it may be alike to those forward emails that you get. and maybe not even because my writing isn't that... well, since its hard to think too clearly when you have so many thoughts going through your head. but try to imagine how it would feel to have no friends around you. in a city you barely know. for so long. as everyone around you are having fun, you aren't. and you haven't smilied from your heart in so long. it'll drive you crazy.
i don't really have time to exactly express how i feel. but i am being kicked off.
miss you all terribly. love you all. miss you all.
July 31. o6
today, was supposedly the day i get to take a break and relax, since we've been so busy every single day.. but around 10, my aunt calls me to go over, so we buss there, we play uno, cards, then gives me a bathing suit, and was like, i got it 4 u a while ago, but forgot to give it to you all this time... so we go swimming in the outdoor pool at the hotel that she lives at. such a beautiful beautiful pool, cute lifeguards too. =P kill me.. anyway. so we swam, and i entertained the kids til it was dark, then by the time we got back to the room, it was like 11, we didn't really think it was reasonable to take the late buss that costed more, home, then bus back here again tomorrow, for bbq+swimm so we stay over night. and i go downstairs at 2:24in the morning to blog this.
July 19, o6
today, well, what a day, last night i slept at a relatives place, ming's. she's around 9 months older than me, (self reminder, birthday in november) we went touring around in the area, loads of fun, and sweating buckets, its steaming hot here, its a small old village, but has a goregeous beach and very homie. last night, we went out, late at night, to the beach, we lied down, aunt, mom and me, and we looked at stars, so calming, *ugh* other than the fact that we were covered in sand and was all salty. We went to a public washroom to wash our feet off, but then decided to wash our hair too. note that the showers where not in anywhere, but out in the open, it was so funny, these guys kept walking past looking. we ended up being fully soaked, it was so funny how screwed up we looked, we were laughing histaricly. the guys decide to sit there and stare... o_O but so memorable, like seriously, we looked insane or high or something. love the beach. love the beach. going to go swimming again at some other beach i heard. oh yea. i got flip flops. PINK PANTHER flip flops!! =DDD loveeee them. had sushi too. got home to ming's place at around 3 in the morning. =DDD lol.. it was so funn tho. what a day.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
July 6, o6
landed in HK at 1:07 am.
aunt vince picked us up, and already, we are on our usual, 'roaming the hk streets' we go to some roadside fast food place and we had these awesomely yummsie mango law-mie-chee's it was so good.. *sigh*
then we went back to her place for the night, she lived in a hotel(!!!) resort city was what it was called... so purty!
aunt vince picked us up, and already, we are on our usual, 'roaming the hk streets' we go to some roadside fast food place and we had these awesomely yummsie mango law-mie-chee's it was so good.. *sigh*
then we went back to her place for the night, she lived in a hotel(!!!) resort city was what it was called... so purty!
July 5, o6
today, i leave vancouver. miss the kids, they're so sweet, tho troubling, but i'm sure they are a lot more calmer than yours truely, i was problably the most energetic little animal around.. we went out once again, this time, all the kids were in summer school, not including baby emily of course, like she knew i was leaving, she was always reaching for me to hold her.. it was so cute, she learned how to say jea jea and kept saying it to me. it was so adorable... she kept pointing at me when she said it too, poked me in the eye.. -__- but still, its impossible to not forgive the innocent child. n she kissed me right before i had to go, fly off...
and her mom, wow.. talk about generous, she gave me a red poket with $2000.. i couldn't take it...i think i just took $100, but it was so thoughtful, i miss them, they were so welcoming...
miss u famm.. <3
and her mom, wow.. talk about generous, she gave me a red poket with $2000.. i couldn't take it...i think i just took $100, but it was so thoughtful, i miss them, they were so welcoming...
miss u famm.. <3
July 4, o6
today.. not much happened actrully, but my hands SORE, we went to a restarant, and ltlle morgan went into my purse without me even knowing, and pulls out my cell phone and says.. I WANT ONE!! MAKE ME ONE!!!?? n i had to draw a cell for him, ended up making like 7, one for every kid... tiring.. and picky kids too.. " i want it too be exactly the same, all the details!" -_____- man, just a bit annoying...
after we went to this place where they fix suitcases and stuff.. harmony screwed our suitcase.. but it was old and we were going to throw it away anyway.. so it didn't matter so much... but we got a pick of anything in the store that was worth $110! i got this green tote bag.. pretty, a bit big tho.. but its pretty.. =)
after we went to CRYSTAL mall to eat, yummsie, we had this ice flake thing with stuff on top.. it as different, but good.. =D
after we went to this place where they fix suitcases and stuff.. harmony screwed our suitcase.. but it was old and we were going to throw it away anyway.. so it didn't matter so much... but we got a pick of anything in the store that was worth $110! i got this green tote bag.. pretty, a bit big tho.. but its pretty.. =)
after we went to CRYSTAL mall to eat, yummsie, we had this ice flake thing with stuff on top.. it as different, but good.. =D
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
July 3, o6
today.. we went yum-tsa.. and then when to "Parker Place" and took those booth pictures. but not the ones we have at STC.. but like.. the really good ones.. it was soo funny.. my lil cousin morgan, in the middle of taking all the pictures.. he was like.. i'm tired.. i don't want to take anymore pictures... i want to take a nap.. and we're all like.. NOOOOOO! STAYYYYY.. it was so funny.. but he did stay..
then back at home, Carmen kept on asking if i would play monopoly with her.. so i did.. but the way she plays.. but then again.. she's small, she doesn't really get it.. and she gets all sad when she's loosing, so i lost for her.. she was so happy.. but the game ended at 12am. -___- mom didn't know she was still up, Karioke.. -__- funn, as i entertain children.. -__- oh well...
then back at home, Carmen kept on asking if i would play monopoly with her.. so i did.. but the way she plays.. but then again.. she's small, she doesn't really get it.. and she gets all sad when she's loosing, so i lost for her.. she was so happy.. but the game ended at 12am. -___- mom didn't know she was still up, Karioke.. -__- funn, as i entertain children.. -__- oh well...
July 2, o6
*sigh* so tired, and dad's going back to Tdottie tonight! *sniff* gonna miss him.. and the kids.. they made my chrispers and bugles disappear.. o_O
We went to "Ice Cream Factory" ahhh! So much ice cream!!! so many flavors! longan, wasabi.. i think 218 flavors... i had.. longan and and.. i think it was green tea? i liked the green tea.. getting obsessed too.. XP
that night.. at 11, we took daddy to the airport.. *SNIFF SNIFF* yea.. couldn't help it, i cryed.. it was so funny in a way.. i kept on looking up and blinking so the tears won't fall, and this guy was looking at me and the ceiling thinking that something was that amusing.. psh... but yea, at the end, i cryed, too many tears to hold back.. * SNIFF* yea.. yea.. yeppp
We went to "Ice Cream Factory" ahhh! So much ice cream!!! so many flavors! longan, wasabi.. i think 218 flavors... i had.. longan and and.. i think it was green tea? i liked the green tea.. getting obsessed too.. XP
that night.. at 11, we took daddy to the airport.. *SNIFF SNIFF* yea.. couldn't help it, i cryed.. it was so funny in a way.. i kept on looking up and blinking so the tears won't fall, and this guy was looking at me and the ceiling thinking that something was that amusing.. psh... but yea, at the end, i cryed, too many tears to hold back.. * SNIFF* yea.. yea.. yeppp
July 1, o6
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!! so on Canada day, i go on "BC Ferries" to Victoria! i was so tired... and as slow as i am... i didn't know that tour buses go right into the boat/ferry... i found it soo amusing.. XP so we got to downtown i think of Victoria.. there was this festival, it was pretty cool, then there was a carnival, but with a $10 addmission fee.. -___- we had 3 people, me, mom& dad. so, $30!!! just a bit expensive.. and it didn't look that fun..
we also went to where terry fox started his long marathon.. we also went to..."the butchant gardens" pretty flowers.. mom n her allergies went nuts... =S.. and my eyes got itchy.. =( food there is sooo expensive! 2 sandwiches and a bowl of chili was like... $22? none of us were full...
That night we got back and went to a japanese restaurant for dinner.. =DDD yummsiees! that night i went to my cousin Samuel's and we played video games.. i lost to a 8 year old.. o_O... and we watched herbie fully loaded..and got home at around.. 4:15am... GREAT...
we also went to where terry fox started his long marathon.. we also went to..."the butchant gardens" pretty flowers.. mom n her allergies went nuts... =S.. and my eyes got itchy.. =( food there is sooo expensive! 2 sandwiches and a bowl of chili was like... $22? none of us were full...
That night we got back and went to a japanese restaurant for dinner.. =DDD yummsiees! that night i went to my cousin Samuel's and we played video games.. i lost to a 8 year old.. o_O... and we watched herbie fully loaded..and got home at around.. 4:15am... GREAT...
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