you said you loved me
you said you loved us both.
you said that you loved this family.
i clung onto that with all i my heart.
denying all the facts that proved otherwise.
i cant believe that changed.
you dont love this family anymore.
the thoughtless careless things you said about me.
and what you said to my face.
when i took the time to see you after you left me behind.
the way you put me down.
like i was not your daughter.
like i was no one.
im amazed at my tolerance and capacity sometimes.
things happen. and i think i cant handle it anymore.
so i break down and cry my heart out . and somehow
im still here.
the things youve said burns through me
like a hot fork pressed into my chest.
it disintegrates who i am.
and the scar will always remain.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Faith & Science
[the following does not belong to me. I do not know if that story is fact or fiction. It is only that i would like to share this story with those that read this blog.]
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHT. He asked one of his new Christian students to stand.
Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you believe in GOD?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent)
Professor : You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from?
Student : From… GOD…
Professor : That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil?
(Student did not answer)
Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who created them?
(Student had no answer)
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe The World around you. Tell me, son…have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor : Yet you still believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn’t…
(The Lecture Theater became very quiet with this turn of events)
Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don’t have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero, Which is No Heat, but we can’t go any further after that.There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)
Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn’t Darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its Called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, Darkness isn’t. If it is,You would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue There is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are Viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life, just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process,yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class was in uproar)
Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The Class broke out into laughter)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?… No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The Room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
Professor : I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir…Exactly!The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHT. He asked one of his new Christian students to stand.
Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you believe in GOD?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent)
Professor : You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from?
Student : From… GOD…
Professor : That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil?
(Student did not answer)
Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who created them?
(Student had no answer)
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe The World around you. Tell me, son…have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor : Yet you still believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn’t…
(The Lecture Theater became very quiet with this turn of events)
Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don’t have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero, Which is No Heat, but we can’t go any further after that.There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)
Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn’t Darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its Called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, Darkness isn’t. If it is,You would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue There is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are Viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life, just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process,yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class was in uproar)
Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The Class broke out into laughter)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?… No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The Room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
Professor : I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir…Exactly!The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.
Sunday, July 04, 2010
f a m i l y & f r i e n d s
for a while now, there has been just so many things on my mind,
things that easily bring me to tears to even think about deeply.
but numbs me at the same time.
things that hurt to think about...
f a m i l y & f r i e n d s
my family and i are experiencing a tough and rough patch.
a large tough and rough patch
there's confusion. cause nothing seems to change the outcome.
there are tears. from not being able to do anything.
there's anger. from everyone.
there's violence. back stabbing[on each other]. there's hurt.
there is here.
here is a broken home.
ekklesia* is the current theme for my church this year.
to me, as far as my understanding; it basically means community.
and to me, a community is suppose to be like a family;
always caring for each other.
in the midst of all the chaos at home.
i simply can not witness an effort of such within the church body.
all i hear is rumors and criticism around me throughout the church.
around my family. and how we are a bad influence. and basically to stay away.
i see countless faces judging me every week.
faces of disgust. of shame.
things that easily bring me to tears to even think about deeply.
but numbs me at the same time.
things that hurt to think about...
f a m i l y & f r i e n d s
my family and i are experiencing a tough and rough patch.
a large tough and rough patch
there's confusion. cause nothing seems to change the outcome.
there are tears. from not being able to do anything.
there's anger. from everyone.
there's violence. back stabbing[on each other]. there's hurt.
there is here.
here is a broken home.
ekklesia* is the current theme for my church this year.
to me, as far as my understanding; it basically means community.
and to me, a community is suppose to be like a family;
always caring for each other.
in the midst of all the chaos at home.
i simply can not witness an effort of such within the church body.
all i hear is rumors and criticism around me throughout the church.
around my family. and how we are a bad influence. and basically to stay away.
i see countless faces judging me every week.
faces of disgust. of shame.
why are you judging me when you don't even know me?
when you do not know the full story?
i cant believe i have to force a smile across my face.
every friday fellowship. every sunday.
silently walking by trying to believe that nothing is wrong.
how is that a safe environment?
which a church should be. a safe environment.
ive been told, that perhaps it's people's way of being concerned for me and my family.
please. please. please. enlighten me.
no one has asked how i am. how i feel about everything.
no one has tried to hear MY side of the story.
no one has tried to understand.
no one has shown any sign of concern.
to people who are not affected. not hurt.
my pain and sorrow is simply juicy gossip and entertainment.
im so frustrated.
it breaks my heart time and time again.
it makes me ache being alone.
im an only child.
i lack a bond that promises support.
unfortunately i also did not grow up with anyone close and alike to relate to.
unlike my closest friends. who are best friends to each other.
i long for the same kind of relationship.
'ekklesia' : an assembly; a people in exile; called out of the world for a purpose; a holy priesthood... getting back to God's intent for God's gathering of people...
when you do not know the full story?
i cant believe i have to force a smile across my face.
every friday fellowship. every sunday.
silently walking by trying to believe that nothing is wrong.
how is that a safe environment?
which a church should be. a safe environment.
ive been told, that perhaps it's people's way of being concerned for me and my family.
please. please. please. enlighten me.
no one has asked how i am. how i feel about everything.
no one has tried to hear MY side of the story.
no one has tried to understand.
no one has shown any sign of concern.
to people who are not affected. not hurt.
my pain and sorrow is simply juicy gossip and entertainment.
im so frustrated.
it breaks my heart time and time again.
it makes me ache being alone.
im an only child.
i lack a bond that promises support.
unfortunately i also did not grow up with anyone close and alike to relate to.
unlike my closest friends. who are best friends to each other.
i long for the same kind of relationship.
'ekklesia' : an assembly; a people in exile; called out of the world for a purpose; a holy priesthood... getting back to God's intent for God's gathering of people...
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