i miss you, the old you.

dangg.
cant believe it. best friends. to almost worst enemies.
not said. but its known.
you said a lot of things that you didnt mean. i meant everything i said, and i expected the same from you. it was a serious thing, and there was no joking involved.

i dont know what to think of you anymore.

i miss you, the old you.

spare me

its bothering me that we, me at least, cant stop thinking of the situation every slight thing that can possibly relate to the people involved. i dont like that we arent comfortable with each other anymore. i dont like how we cant talk to each other without feeling awkward. or only one word responses. everything seems to be bluer than it actually is. this is all im thinking of. it hurts more than it should b e c a u s e it has something to do with you.. i've known you forever. i trusted you, and thats why it hurts just that much more.

it feels like you're being a hypocrite. or you just dont care about my feelings.
i wouldnt of done the things you did, just because i wouldnt even spare that little bit of chance that it would hurt you.
i want to spend time with you. but every time we do. either me or you will get into a bad mood. its mostly me tho...

i dont know what to do. but to say that i know you're further than me, you've got a better chance. and because of that it feels like you arent caring about how you're hurting me on the way.
i just wish we can go back to how it was, and i wish that you would spare me.

show me

actions are stronger then words.
and its true

dont tell me that you love you if you dont even say hi to me when i arrive but you say hi to everyone else

i'd rather you never say that you love me, or you're my friend.
i'll understand once you show me.


--to who i think are my sisters and bestfriends. {TG}

timmy girls

arent being the sisters/best friends that they're suppose to be.
thanks for the looks guys.
or thanks for just plain ignoring me.

give it a think && appreicate everyone

alfred. died on his 18th birthday. run over by a car backing out in a parking lot

i dont know this guy. and neither did my friend that told me about it. this guy was only friend of a few friends.. though neither me nor the one that told me actually know him, it still touched us and made us unhappy and at least changed the mood that day.
i found out when she was talking on the phone with me.. and asked me what i would do to tell her friend that doesnt know about this tragedy yet. i tried so hard to comfort her and give her some type of advice.. but i was blank.. all i had was.. pray. and GOD can help you and your friend.

while all this, i was also trying to reply posts on the very popular facebook. and on the left of the post box, there was this really popular appliciation -- the "Top Friends" application. it really got me thinking. that application's main function is to prove that you favor certain people, and who they are. and i thought.. i really dont think that a list like that could possibly hold all the people that have made a positive influence in one's life.. its one way to exclude..

then i thought back to my conversation.

i think that it would break down my world so much if any of my friends, even people who would be on my "Top Friends" list, just left me one day. doesnt matter how close we were. they made a difference in my life for the better.

and this qoute came to my mind: "people walk in and out of your life.. but friends leave footprints in your heart" i'm sure you've heard of it.. but just think it through again..

RIP ALFRED