u n i

And here's arrived; the beginning of a new chapter that begins with big changes and obstacles right off the bat - i hope you know, i love you and miss you with all my genuine honest heart. i hope you all have a great time, have lots of fun and new experiences all while staying safe and with close and true to Christ. i would give up so much to just assure that our friendship would remain strong after, at the end of this stage or chapter of our lives.

Roger that.

my blood father.
abandons wife and daughter.

i would love to know what he's thinking.
besides the excuses
besides the lies he hides behind
all for his pride and ego.



"take responsibility for your actions"

is what he always said to me
time to take your own advice.

best i ever had

sister
brother
either will be fine really..

but unfortunately i wasnt blessed with a sibling
so i guess i was blessed with independence
but everybody needs someone at some point..
so still. im at a loss.

so instead i consider my closest two friends my sisters.
i care for them as a sister.
i worry for them as a sister.
i love them as a sister.

its so hard to see them go off to uni
going so far, having all these experiences.
that i wont have.
going so far, and not seeing them as often anymore.
i might not even be their besties anymore.
i wont know whats going on anymore.
for 4 years.
a lot can happen in four years.

one of my sisters got a late acceptance into her first choice school
she got into the best for her course
i was so proud and happy for her.
and i was going to have at least a sister with me too!
but turns that she doesnt want to stay behind
she wanted to go,
and even though shes back
she doesnt want to be in the things we're in together..
like she doesnt want to spend even the least possible time with me..

my other sister, shes going to the loo! im so glad for her.
and if only i went there too, then we could of roomed together!
wouldnt that be simply perfect?
but thats not so, hope you have fun, stay safe!
and please please please stay in touch,
cause im going to miss you a lot.


whether you know it or not jenn&hailey
i love you two like sisters and like family
have a wonderful fantastic four years.
please stay safe
im missing you already

Family Matters

was the theme for retreat


'communication is key'
what if your family refuses to communicate? doesnt want to. will not do it. refuses to talk to each other. doesnt trust each other? doesnt care bout what each other has to say?

'your friends may come and go but not your family'
a family member just left. admitted to not caring. not loving the family anymore. and refuses to return home. my friends are as close to family as it can get to me. im an only child. so i dont have a lot to hold on to other than my parents. friends are my sisters to me. and it scares me so much when people tell me that friends come and go.



& i forget the rest.

fatherless

you said you loved me
you said you loved us both.
you said that you loved this family.
i clung onto that with all i my heart.
denying all the facts that proved otherwise.

i cant believe that changed.
you dont love this family anymore.

the thoughtless careless things you said about me.
and what you said to my face.
when i took the time to see you after you left me behind.
the way you put me down.
like i was not your daughter.
like i was no one.

im amazed at my tolerance and capacity sometimes.
things happen. and i think i cant handle it anymore.
so i break down and cry my heart out . and somehow
im still here.
the things youve said burns through me
like a hot fork pressed into my chest.
it disintegrates who i am.
and the scar will always remain.