deciding my summer

what are friends for? what a mindless question. holding quite the hard answer..

life's being difficult right now. and life's throwing a lot of complications for me to handle, yet i only have two hands.

i think God opened my closely held eyes just now. He pointed me in the right direction.. ive had my priorities all wrong. why am i wasting so much time on people who dont care? when there's someone that i feel that i've let float away to the darkened areas of my heart that i should call out to? --my aunt. shes been diagnosed with cancer for a second time since around may 07. and not even hours ago, i was informed that cancer have not only spread to numberous parts of her body, bone and blood, but now, also to her brain also. she'd stop responding to medication and treatment. days are limited for her.

why am i spending time on people that dont care? rather than reaching out to her? with His word? i should be preparing myself to reach out to her with His love and comfort that He'd shown me, as she's looking towards me to show her God. i really do hope that shes not only watching me for a reflection of God, i dont know my scripture nearly enough, and im like a mucky mirror reflecting dimmed light..

so right now im highly considering going to hongkong to see her, most likely for the last time. ive sworn that i was never going to go back, not with my mom, not over the summer (that practically means never.. cause there'd be school otherwise) but now i think God planned for this. im not in summer school, im unemployed, and theres all this mess around people. im already spending time away, advoiding, why not do something productive while im at it? i think its right for me to go, and come back before VBS or something...

i think its all set. now its just tickets.. and going and coming back in time.