B.A.S.I.C
brothers and sisters in Christ
i feel so strongly about the whole idea.
i even picked it for our TC name, perhaps its because i dont have any blood siblings,
but still, the i believe that the idea, still stands firm.
perhaps i dont know how brothers and sisters are like, but i thought i had an idea, and i liked how it looked in my mind. but dont think they reflect it very much..
im likely not the only one feeling this way, but i dont think that it would make me feel better than im not alone, id rather be alone. cause id mean that there would be less things like this happening..
i sense that everyone's just trying to outdo each other in this and that, trying to be better than the next person.
but what for? we all know that we have our own strengths and weaknesses. and that we're all the same in God's eyes. we should be there to help each other. make each other feel safe, that we're all special. but we're doing just the opposite. hurting people just so that we can feel more "superior" than them. its so lame. its not right.
why am i feeling threatened for trying to be nice? really, i only have one reason for being friendly to you, and even trying to be nice, because thats whats God wants us to do; love your neighbor. loving your neighbor because you love God.
i cant believe you guys can do the things you do. like i mean nothing to you. perhaps you dont. fine. but just to tell you, i care for you. you guys mean a lot to me. but that seems to be meaning less and less every time i come within contact with you. i dont think it would hurt as much if i didnt care about you guys as much either..
looks like its all on me.
im mad at you. but i dont want to make you feel guilty, im not sure why..
i forgive you, because i like you, you're my friend, and overall, because God first forgave me.
so i go along, and accompany you to things that id personally rather not go to. and once we're there, you see someone. you and run away with her knowingly ditching me.
seriously. grow up. cause sooner or later, this will happen to you. as mean as i feel saying this; i kinda look forward to that day. so you'll know how i felt. i cant believe i took so much effort to be there for you, and just be a friend. turns out to be a waste of time, and i regret it. a lot.
and things dont change as long as i want them to.
im not significant to make things like this, happen.
you only live life once, so make the best of it.
4 comments:
i just want to say that i'm sorry. what i did, i admit, was stupid. and i never meant to hurt you. i didn't even realize that i was creating a problem when trying to fix another. i only "ran away" with her because i have had an issue with her for a while now, and was trying to talk to her about it. i guess all that was in vain anyways, because there was still always too many people around to talk without being overheard. the thing is that i really don't think about most of my actions before i make them. which is definitely stupid. i hope you'll forgive me and remember to remind me if i ever do it again. just know that i always love you
& never mean to hurt you.
talk? you skipped away laughing into the next store, and i recall a glance back at me. srry, but i remember it like i just saw it happen just a few seconds ago.
i didn't mean to leave you behind in another store, but i did try to look for you afterwards, only to find out that you went to ray's car to get your stuff so that you could go home. and i know you said that you forgave me in your blog, but it sure doesn't feel that way. my relationships with people mean a lot to me whether they're close friends, or aquaintances and it'd be sad to see this one die.. so as much as i love your not-so-friendly looks & cut-eyes, i'm right here waiting when you wanna talk to me about it.
as much as you say that you dont want to see friendships die, i dont see actions to prove it.
as for the looks, im just wondering why you fake it. its disgusted. its disappointment. its confusion.
im not being friendly, cause im sick of all this. i dont want even the slightest chance walking back into it again.
seriously. im not ready to start over. see if time does anything and if it smothers my memory. but seriously. too far. for something friends do.
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